Let me make something clear from the get-go: everyone’s spiritual journey is different. There is no wrong or right way to step deeper into spiritual knowledge. All I can speak of is my personal journey – a journey, by the way, which will take my entire life (read: I’ve a looong way to go). Here are five lessons I’ve learned so far...
1 Don’t put anyone on a pedestal
Human beings have this funny habit of hero worship – just look at the way many of us idolise celebrities, overlooking their bad behaviour and blindly buying whatever they are selling (*cough, cough*, laxative teas, anyone?). The spiritual space is generally less materialistic but that doesn’t mean people who’ve been elevated in New Age circles warrant total adoration either – think about how some prominent yogis have exploited and even abused people. Of course, this is rare, but it does happen.
(Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash)
If you are on a journey of personal development and spiritual learning, looking to other people for guidance is healthy. Putting them on a pedestal, however, and blindly adhering to whatever they preach is not healthy. What resonates with you will likely come from a raft of different lessons and insights – all filtered through your own intuition and thought processes.
In recent years, a high-profile angel intuitive and New Age author turned her back on all her prior work, leaving her devotees feeling cast adrift and unable to discern spiritual truth for themselves (see my post about that here). This is very unfortunate, but less likely to happen to you if you are discerning about what you take on board, and you can separate the person from the work they are doing in the world.
The take-away: No one person is an absolute authority.
2 Follow your own guidance
The difference between spirituality and religion is that the latter is about believing in things because someone (or something) told you that is the truth, while the former is about seeking out the answers yourself and believing in things because they feel right and true to you on a deep level. There is no doctrine to shape your spiritual journey. It’s a path guided by your soul alone, and that’s why it will look different to the version of spirituality practised by the person next to you on the yoga mat.
The take-away: Only you can know what feels true for you – trust that.
(Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash)
3. Don’t compete with others
Confession: my spiritual journey has sometimes made me quite judgy towards those who don’t see things the way I do. Initially I felt that I had tapped into some intrinsic knowledge that other people didn’t have, and boy, didn’t I feel superior for it! If I heard someone getting jealous about another person’s success, I’d clock their scarcity mentality and nod knowingly to myself. When I saw someone performing ad-hoc reiki at a spiritual gathering with their phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I snorted at their understanding of energy. (For the record, I am not proud of all this judgy-ness.)
You’ll be pleased to know that eventually I realised being on a spiritual path didn’t make me smarter or better than anyone else… but it could potentially make me an insufferable jerk. The truth is that everybody is doing the best they can with where they’re at – and frankly, how do I even know I’m on the right track? I don’t – and that’s worth remembering on the regular. We are all students here.
The take-away: Spirituality is not a competitive sport.
4 Be OK with solitude
Unfortunately, you will lose some friends when you start deep-diving into your spiritual side. The good people will be those who don’t let this affect the friendship. Some, however, will feel uncomfortable with your new life direction and will drift away; others you’ll have to cut ties with as you’ll realise those connections are no longer in alignment with who you are. This is really challenging if you have always looked to others to validate or confirm your worth. The trick will be to accept that losing friends doesn’t mean you’re a bad person – it just means you’re different to them. And it’s OK to be different – actually, it’s an essential component of living a life of satisfaction (as opposed to a life of regret).
The take-away: Get comfortable with going against the grain.
(Photo by AndriyKo Podilnyk on Unsplash)
5. There’s a gap between what you know and what you believe
You can know something intellectually but not truly believe it on a subconscious level. Here’s an example: you know logically that you have enough money but on some level you believe that you’re constantly on the verge of losing everything (more about that here). And another: you know logically that you don’t have to be a size 0 supermodel to be winning at womanhood, but deep down you just don’t feel good enough. Me telling you that you’re good enough multiple times will not change this – because you already know it intellectually, which is not where the problem lies. For you to truly take this belief on board, working with an energy healer to clear limiting beliefs in your subconscious is essential. I know this because energy healing changed my life and helped me truly, madly, deeply believe that I really was capable of a romantic relationship (something I believed logically but didn’t believe deep down). That’s why I became an energy healer myself (more about that here).
The take-away: Getting something clear in your mind may not be enough, sometimes work at a subconscious level is needed.