For most of my life I have longed to be graceful. I wished I could glide into a room emanating such allure that every man would stop what he was doing to admire me. To dress impeccably and with such class I could have just stepped off a billboard. To hold myself with such poise that there would be no need for me to even speak.
I possess none of
these attributes. My sense of style is less about style and more about whatever
items I can rustle up that don’t make me look like I’m in the middle of a
reality TV home renovation. My inability to match garments is renowned. Instead
of sitting neatly in place, my hair behaves like your wild teenage daughter –
i.e. it’s never where it’s supposed to be. And despite being blessed with long,
slender legs I am unable to wear heels that would gift me the feminine appeal I
long for. In heels, I have all the finesse of a newborn foal stepping on
butter. In my beloved ballet flats I have good control but the refinement
of a truck driver.
What I have realised,
though, is that no matter how unruly my appearance and disposition, I can live in a state of grace – although not in the way the
majority of people define the word.
Last Christmas I wrote
a post about grace as associated with redemption, and my definition of the word
has broadened further since. Our society loves to hold up Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast
at Tiffany's as the epitome of grace and elegance. Yet that role – as
a character who displayed precious little regard for other people’s feelings –
is far removed from what made this celebrated actress truly graceful. It’s true
that she was mesmerisingly beautiful, but her grace had nothing to do with her
face or her wardrobe, and everything to do with her heart.
Audrey worked tirelessly
as a UNICEF ambassador, fulfilling the call she felt from within to bring hope
and
worldwide attention to the plight of starving children in countries such as
Ethiopia – a humanitarian mission I admit I didn’t know about until I read about it on social media. Rather than focusing on looking fair, she implored the world to BE
fair… in the way it distributes its resources and opportunities.
This, to me, is grace.
No longer do I aspire to be chic or elegant (that’s probably for the best, all
considered), but there’s opportunity for me to build towards a state of grace
in my thoughts, attitudes and behaviour. Certainly I’ll never reach Audrey’s
levels but that doesn’t mean I can’t maximise opportunities to show and feel
grace in my everyday life. Grace is gently leaning forward when I want to retreat. Grace is showing kindness to myself and to others even when I don’t feel like it. Grace is finding peace in my heart amid a cacophony of criticism, fear
and drama. Grace is gently reminding myself on my bad days that tomorrow is
another day and it will be better.
That’s my understanding
of grace – and it truly is amazing.