The self-adjustment bureau

"You can’t run from your fate.”

The (very underrated, IMO) Matt Damon and Emily Blunt movie The Adjustment Bureau screened the other night, and it got me thinking about the extent our lives are predetermined and how much power we have to change the direction of our lives.

This calls to mind a strongly resonant lyric in that heartwarming 90s song The Sunscreen Song (you know it): “Don’t congratulate yourself, or berate yourself too much either. Your choices are half chance – so are everyone else’s.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I personally believe in free will. I believe I am mapping my own course. But I also believe there are lessons for me to learn, and to teach, in this lifetime. This means that when friendships, relationships and jobs come to a close, they were not meant to be. (Doesn't mean I don't grieve for them though.)

I still don’t fully understand this stuff. I don't understand where my power ends or begins. I can have anything I want, but in some matters – the innate talents we possess, as well as the unpleasant stuff like chronic disease and death – as Paulo Coehlo writes in his bestselling, deeply stirring book The Alchemist: “it is written”.

What do you guys think? Are you calling the shots? Or is the universe steering your ship?

In praise of spiritual men

A while ago I attended a one-day course at my local Buddhist centre which was both uplifting and grounding at the same time. Anyway, one of the main things that struck me was the number of men in attendance. Out of a class of 100, there were maybe 40 men. By comparison, last year I attended a three-day spiritual workshop which was maybe 10 per cent men.

What's this all about? Is it that women, being more emotional creatures (which is a GOOD thing, FYI), are more likely to feel an affinity with matters spiritual? Or is there some sort of stigma about spiritualism, ie is it incompatible with conventional ideas about masculinity? If that’s the case, we definitely need to have a conversation. Because – and I can only speak for myself – I think a self-aware, questioning, deep-thinking man is highly attractive :)

Men who mediate – yes please. Bros who do yoga (broga?) – yes and yes.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE (SPIRITUAL) BOYS!

Driving ourselves crazy. Or something.

The way people drive is the way they live their lives. This occurred to me when I was stuck in traffic recently. Consider this:

* Some drivers are focused on their destination rather than their journey – they’re in a rush to get where they want to be, without appreciating where they are.


* Some are OTT irritated when things don’t go as they want – red lights, unpredictable drivers etc.

* Some drive cars that inadvertently make a statement about their personalities – “I am important”, “I don’t want to stand out”, “I don’t value material things” (no judgment, BTW).

* Some aren’t considerate or supportive of others’ journeys – not letting others into a queue, cutting people off, not indicating their intentions.

* Sure, it’s not always easy to appreciate the beauty and richness of life when you’re stuck in a queue of traffic with a faulty air-conditioning unit and an unhappy baby in the backseat. But when else are you going to do it? You can’t go anywhere else, or do anything else. You are right here. Right now. Take this moment to breathe and be present. It may be the best thing you do all day to move yourself forwards. Without actually moving.

Keeping the faith (spoiler alert: it's hard)

"You know you’re gonna live through the rain. Lord you got to keep the faith."

I think I should start all my posts with Bon Jovi lyrics. Admit it – you’re humming the song now.

So anyway, the faith thing. Maintaining faith in an uncertain, and frankly, terrifying world is an ongoing challenge for me, and I suspect it will remain so until the day I die. It’s one of my major lessons in this lifetime, I’m led to believe. I’d prefer a karmic lesson that involved mastering pasta making, or perhaps flying a helicopter, but apparently these aren’t things that deeply satisfy the soul in the long term. (Boo!)

Anyway I digress (that happens, from time to time... you’ll get used to it). Lately I’ve been drawing the ‘abundance’ card in my angel card readings. I sigh, release my financial worries to the universe, then wait for the moolah to roll in. If that doesn’t happen immediately, I start to doubt. And that’s unhelpful – doubt is my kryptonite. But when my faith is strong, new opportunities tend to pop into my peripheral vision. Boom! Perhaps not in the way I had expected, but always there’s a solution.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles to keep the faith. After all, if no one ever lacked faith, there would be no need to seek spiritual guidance, and no need for me to offer angel card readings to people. We would be nicer, happier and more successful than we can possibly imagine in this moment. Because we would know that everything would be OK.

Guys here’s the thing: everything WILL be OK. It really will! (I’m talking to myself as much as I am you.) I don’t know why it’s so hard to remember this in times of strife, but I am committed to remembering, and honouring, the power of keeping the faith. I’m also committed to listening to more Bon Jovi, and I would suggest you do the same.