The fight that never happened

Today I’m going to see someone who pushes my buttons in the worst way. Mostly we get along great, but this person has a habit of sometimes saying things that make me ANGRY. I am looking forward to seeing him, but obviously the wariness was simmering away in my subconscious because almost as soon I woke up this morning I started imagining what he might say to me and how I might respond (calmly, succinctly and persuasively, of course). When I sat down to do my meditation this imagined conflict started to permeate my practice (somewhat counterproductive, no?). I realised it was time to remind my brain who’s in charge of this body (i.e. my heart).

According to the law of attraction, even arguments we have in our heads are going to have an impact on what we manifest into our lives. So basically, it’s not just spoken words that matter. Not only am I creating negativity for myself by ruminating on how this person might piss me off, I am damaging my relationship with him as well by bringing discomfort and an unhappy energy into our real-life interactions. Not ideal.

To counter this, I said a few affirmations around accepting people as they are, and asked the angels to help heal our relationship. After that, I resolved to simply let it go. Whatever happens, happens. But at least I’ll go into our catch-up with an open heart and a tranquil mind. And that’s worth A LOT.

I'm not scared! (Actually I am. And that's OK.)

Today I read a Facebook post that was so on point that I felt inspired to write a post of my own on that very topic. Then I thought, why redo something that someone else has already done so well? (Advice that Madonna would have been wise to take when considering doing a cover of American Pie; amirite?) 

The post in question is about fear, and how trying to overcome it completely is a waste of time and energy. Fear is, and should be, a constant companion in your life, Liz Gilbert writes in this excellent column, and trying to rid yourself of it is futile. The object is to acknowledge it but to not let it stop you from doing what you want. 

Here's Liz's brilliant piece on this topic, which I encourage you all to read. She says it much better than I could. 

Just press play

This week I spent $AUD83 ($US64) on two giant inflatable pigs. This is not a sentence I expected to be writing, to be honest. I can’t quite explain what came over me. I saw the pigs, I imagined how much fun it would be to play with them, and I hit ‘buy’. And I regret nothing.

I believe my inner child might be responsible for this uncharacteristic act of silliness, for I am not what you’d describe as a spontaneous, irresponsible shopper. But lately, following instructions from the angels, I’ve been listening to my inner child and it’s made me take life a lot less seriously – which is pretty welcome.

The idea of the inner child is difficult for a thirtysomething to comprehend. Play is for little kids, right? But the more I read about inner child work, the more intrigued I am.

It’s said that we have three parts to our identities. For women: the maiden (inner child), mother (nurturer) and matriarch (the teacher). For men: the lad, the dad and the patriarch. Most of us abandon our inner child as we grow up, thinking it has no place in the adult world. Yet making time to be silly and light-hearted is very important for a balanced sense of wellbeing. This doesn’t mean starting a food fight at the family lunch or telling fart jokes (though I’m all for a bit of immature humour) but it does mean making room to be carefree. It changes your perspective, and that’s when your creativity really starts to flow. 

Some ways I’ve been nurturing my inner child include:

*  Colouring in. You guys, this is so, so fun. I bought a book called Colouring In For Grown-ups and I highly recommend it. This activity is incredibly therapeutic. I’m not the only one getting down with colouring in – in France, colouring books for adults are now outselling cookbooks. Seriously!

*  Swinging. No, not that kind of swinging – get your mind out of the gutter! I mean playing on swings at the local playground. Just be careful of any little kids, who tend to wander out in front of you (which may end badly).

 * Dancing. Try not to laugh, but I’ve started a ritual of coming home from work and blasting Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off and dancing like no one is watching (and no one is). You can actually feel your problems fall off the end of your fingertips. My spirits are so high that I often end up playing a few more songs before I have to stop and catch my breath. This is how I remember what it means to feel alive.

* Watching Disney movies. These are always so beautifully done, and often include some simple but powerful messages about life. Preach, Disney!

The self-adjustment bureau

"You can’t run from your fate.”

The (very underrated, IMO) Matt Damon and Emily Blunt movie The Adjustment Bureau screened the other night, and it got me thinking about the extent our lives are predetermined and how much power we have to change the direction of our lives.

This calls to mind a strongly resonant lyric in that heartwarming 90s song The Sunscreen Song (you know it): “Don’t congratulate yourself, or berate yourself too much either. Your choices are half chance – so are everyone else’s.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I personally believe in free will. I believe I am mapping my own course. But I also believe there are lessons for me to learn, and to teach, in this lifetime. This means that when friendships, relationships and jobs come to a close, they were not meant to be. (Doesn't mean I don't grieve for them though.)

I still don’t fully understand this stuff. I don't understand where my power ends or begins. I can have anything I want, but in some matters – the innate talents we possess, as well as the unpleasant stuff like chronic disease and death – as Paulo Coehlo writes in his bestselling, deeply stirring book The Alchemist: “it is written”.

What do you guys think? Are you calling the shots? Or is the universe steering your ship?

In praise of spiritual men

A while ago I attended a one-day course at my local Buddhist centre which was both uplifting and grounding at the same time. Anyway, one of the main things that struck me was the number of men in attendance. Out of a class of 100, there were maybe 40 men. By comparison, last year I attended a three-day spiritual workshop which was maybe 10 per cent men.

What's this all about? Is it that women, being more emotional creatures (which is a GOOD thing, FYI), are more likely to feel an affinity with matters spiritual? Or is there some sort of stigma about spiritualism, ie is it incompatible with conventional ideas about masculinity? If that’s the case, we definitely need to have a conversation. Because – and I can only speak for myself – I think a self-aware, questioning, deep-thinking man is highly attractive :)

Men who mediate – yes please. Bros who do yoga (broga?) – yes and yes.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE (SPIRITUAL) BOYS!