If manifesting isn't working out for you, this might be why


With so many angel card messages lately urging us to set intentions to manifest what we want in our lives, I thought Id write about how we sometimes block our dreams from coming true by wanting them too much.
Wait, what?
Bear with me. I *know* that sounds counter-intuitive. How can you want something too much? I mean, no one would set a goal for something they didnt really want, right?

The problem is that when we want something so much that we devote all our focus to it, we dont give the Universe enough space to make it happen for us –  and that messes up all the good energy were trying to send out. We get in our own way. We try to force it before the time is right, jumping on every opening that seems like it could possibly be the way forward, instead of pausing to let our intuition guide us. We might pursue business opportunities that don't suit us and chase potential romantic partners who arent that into us. Speaking of romance, my own love life is a case in point: I believe that I only got the relationship Id yearned for after I had stopped looking for it. I had not given up on love, I had just given up the search for it (for the record, love is not something you find. It finds you... when the time is right).
There is such a thing as being too attached to something. If we idealise how we want our lives to look, we may become tunnel-visioned and not realise that the Universe is showing us a better way. The problem is not the wanting of said thing, it’s the clinging to said thing.
This isnt just a trick to play on ourselves so we dont get too disappointed if something doesnt work out, BTW.
When we ask the Universe for something, there are only three possible answers it gives:
·         * Yes
* Not yet  
             *  I have something better in mind
Here’s an example. Last year I was completely fixated on my goal of making my reiki practice work. It was haemorrhaging money, and I exhausted every avenue my Mastermind group and I could think of to attract the clientele the business needed. I sensed Id made a misstep in opening a business without establishing a client base first, but I was in too deep and I felt I couldn’t just walk away (flogging dead horses has always been a hobby of mine, lol). I was so obsessed with making it work that Id staked my sense of self-worth on the success of the venture, so that when it inevitably failed, I felt like I was the failure. Not exactly a healthy approach.
Ive already written about my struggles with that resulting sense of failure (read that post here) but here’s a brief summary of what went wrong (or right, depending on your perspective): the Universe was trying to steer me in a different direction, but I hadn’t been listening. Because I was too attached to how *I* thought it should happen.
A lot of spiritual experts encourage people to emotionally invest in their goals, which is all well and good, but if we are *too* attached to our visions, we can overlook cues from our intuition that there might be a better way – or that what we want simply isnt right for us at that point in our lives.
Lesson learned. Now when I set goals and intentions, I ask the Universe for help, then let them go. Your move, Universe.
Of course the Universe always responds to action (you should never be passive about your goals), but there’s only so far you can go before you’ve got to get out of your own way. Surrendering to the Universe is the only option – and the Universe is, after all, better at organising things than you are. 
This has worked brilliantly for me in recent weeks. One of my aims was to get a regular spiritual column in a publication. To solidify that intention, I focused on the euphoric feeling of having such a gig that would beautifully marry my two career streams of spiritual guidance and journalism (hint: the Universe loves it when we attach emotions to our intentions). I contacted a few editors, but heard nothing back. Then I pretty much forgot about it. I didn’t give up, I just knew there was nothing more I could do to bring the column into being. I knew that if it was meant to happen, it would. 
And, almost 12 months later, it has.
A few weeks ago, a former co-worker put me in touch with a commissioning editor who was looking for a monthly spiritual column on her magazines website. After some discussions, we arrived at a formula, I wrote my first piece, and its just gone live. Im thrilled. I’m aware that it might not work out long-term... but then again, it just might. Either way, Im happy. Because as much as I wanted this opportunity and am enjoying it, I didn’t *need* it.
That’s the best way I can sum up non-attachment: wanting but not needing. It’s a pretty helpful strategy to keep in mind. Except for when it comes to nachos, which I both want and need on the reg, obviously.

This week is going to be a major week. Here's why

Number 1 on film reelIn two days’ time it will be November 11, and I’m really excited about this. At the risk of sounding like a spiritual geek (I guess it’s much too late for that...), 11.11 in any year is a significant date to me because it’s a line-up of my favourite number – one.
One is strong in my personal numerology – and plus, November, the 11th month, is my birth month. In spiritual terms, this number signifies creativity and confidence, and it appears twice for me in my soul purpose numbers (meaning this energy is extra intense) – so these are the areas that I’m challenged to harness and develop in this lifetime.

I’ll talk more about soul purpose numbers further down the page – and explain how you can find out your own, if that’s something you’re curious about – but first I want to talk about number one in angel numerology, because repetition of numbers is something that a lot of people notice.
Recently on a Facebook group I’m part of, someone posted a comment that she kept seeing ‘1111’ everywhere – she’d glance at her phone and it’d be 11.11am. It’d appear on number plates. On lottery tickets. What was the significance, she wanted to know?

There are two layers of meaning. At its most basic level this is the angels saying hello, and popping in to let you know they’re around and they’ve got your back. We all need constant reminders of that (even me… especially me...) But for those who are looking to grow and expand (which I assume describes you, given you’re reading this blog), this is also a wake-up call. The angels are reminding you at that moment to watch your thoughts, because your thoughts are creating your future – and if you’re bogged down with negative thoughts, those will block what you want. I always take the appearance of a ‘111’ sequence as a prompt for me to mentally delete the negative concepts that have been playing on my mind, then affirm to the angels what I *do* want (current goal: more clients), and thank them for helping me attract that into my life. So essentially it’s a powerful manifestation number. Which is very convenient, because…
November 11 also happens to mark the emergence of a new moon, which is a powerful time for manifestation. Woo! Adding to that, the new moon happens to be in Scorpio (that’s my sign, BTW!), which is the zodiac’s most deeply intuitive sign. 

Screenshot of phone at 11.11am on November 11
A screenshot I took last year.
What does all this mean? In short: this week is an intense time for creating what you want – but remember that it’s your responsibility to focus your thoughts to attract what you desire. It’s about believing you CAN have what you dream of, and about tuning into your intuition for guidance. You may have powerful dreams this week, and you’ll almost certainly be having strong nudges from your intuition (that’s the Scorpio moon’s influence). If there’s something you want, you really really want, Wednesday night would be a perfect time to sit down with a pen and paper and write down exactly what you’re aiming to create in your life. You could also combine that with a meditation to clear your mind of any negative residue. Powerful stuff!
Going back to soul purpose numbers, following well-regarded numerologist Dan Millman’s analysis, I’m a 38/11. The three stands for expression – pretty relevant, as a writer – and sensitivity – pretty important, as a healer – and the eight is for abundance and power. Basically what this tells me is that my job in this lifetime is use my creativity to uplift and empower others. And that I’ll be supported by the Universe in doing so. To be honest I’m not overly thrilled about this. My ideal weekend is spent watching reruns of The Fresh Prince in my pyjamas – which, I’m pretty sure, does not benefit the community at large. Still, I know I’m happiest when I’m being creative, and I also know I’m being pushed to expand more than I have ever before, and reach out to people. So I do accept this challenge, although I’m less-than-enthusiastic about it sometimes. While I might not like all the elements of the 38/11 analysis, the information has been far more useful, and felt more accurate, to me than horoscopes (even though I have found astrology relevant, to a degree).

If you’re interested in working out your own soul purpose numerology, here’s a link to the calculator. It’ll only give you a brief summary – you need to read Dan’s book The Life You Were Born To Live to get the full rundown. I hope you find it as helpful as I did. 

Deluded much? Maybe it's the third eye chakra

Woman with hands over eyes, letters of the alphabet coming out of her head

Ever seen a hopelessly untalented contestant audition for The X Factor and wondered, ‘how can they possibly think they can sing?!’ That’s delusion – and it’s something we all suffer with at various points in our lives. Sometimes delusion can be caused by a block in the third eye chakra, which is the energy centre all about perception and intuition.

The ‘third eye’ is a term commonly used to refer to psychic ability, which is something we all possess to various levels. In almost every angel card reading I do, a message will come through about trusting your intuition. That’s because we all have a direct line to the Universe, and through that we’re given all the information and answers we could possibly need. But our brain just loves to interfere with these messages and tell us that we’re being ridiculous or we’re imagining things. Ensuring your third eye chakra is balanced is one way you can make sure you receive those messages clearly.

Imagination is associated with the third eye chakra, so people in creative industries in particular will benefit strongly from keeping this chakra in balance.

Memory is also highlighted in this chakra, so people who have buried, or are tortured by, unpleasant memories may experience third eye chakra blocks.

While the heart chakra’s enemy was grief and the throat chakra’s adversary was lies, the third eye chakra’s challenge is illusion, or a false sense of belief. If the third eye chakra is in balance we’re able to perceive things as they really are. We’re able to use our intuition to make good choices. We remember our dreams and instinctively understand their significance. We’re able to use visualisation to manifest what we want. We’re also able to detect what isn’t being said by people – in other words, an ability to read people’s body language and elicit meaning from the tone of their voice. We recognise the beauty in our jobs, our relationships and our bodies instead of wishing they were something else.

The third eye chakra symbol

(Image: the third eye chakra symbol)

When the third eye chakra is deficient, you might display these traits:

* Poor memory

* Lack of imagination

* Denial of present circumstances

* Excessive scepticism

When the third eye chakra is excessive, you might experience:

* Delusions of grandeur

* Obsessions and fantasising

* Difficulty concentrating

* Illusions

* Nightmares

Not surprisingly, headaches and vision problems can be associated with third eye chakra imbalances. So, too, can mental health issues. However I want to point out that all these health concerns have myriad causes – I’m not suggesting energetic imbalances are a sole cause.

To bring the third eye chakra into balance, meditation and rest are essential. You could also try keeping a dream journal beside your bed, and writing down key themes from intense dreams when you wake up; this helps you notice patterns and messages from your intuition. For yoga types – resting child’s pose and fish pose are helpful.

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Read my posts about the other chakras here:

Base chakra

Sacral chakra

Solar plexus chakra

Heart chakra

Throat chakra

The law of attraction. Does it work? YES. Well, most of the time...

Woman with energy from her head

When Jim Carrey was a struggling actor, he wrote himself a cheque for $10 million for “acting services rendered”, dating it 10 years from that date. He did this because, despite growing up in poverty (his family lived in a car at one point), he believed he could hit the big time as an actor. And he did. Within 10 years he was earning millions for films such as Ace Ventura and The Mask.
This story is a wonderful illustration of how much power we have to manifest what we want. That’s a message that comes up in angel card readings all the time, and a concept that I’ve used in my own life to get what I had my heart set on. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Alas, this approach is not guaranteed  which can be disappointing. Here are my thoughts on why.
If you read The Secret when it came out a decade ago, you’re probably familiar with the law of attraction (I didn’t; I found it too gimmicky). Here’s the concept in a nutshell: whatever you want, you can attract through your thoughts. If you focus on what you don’t want, you’ll block what you want, and probably attract what you dont. 
Here’s how I’ve used the law of attraction to manifest specific things:
* When I needed a car in 2010, I was fearful of buying a car that would break down on me, so I asked the Universe to find me a car like my friend owned, which was cheap to run and super reliable. Within a few days I had spotted that model of car on the side of the road near my house with a ‘for sale’ sign in the window. My dad checked it out and said it was a good buy, so I put in a low offer and got it. Too easy! That car is now owned by my brother and despite being more than 20 years old, it has yet to fail a warrant of fitness.
* When I moved back to Sydney last year I was nervous about making friends. As an introvert, social situations are challenging for me. I visualised myself encircled by a group of friends and laughing – and I returned my thoughts to this vision time and time again. A month after I arrived, the angels drew my attention to a newspaper story about a new social group that had started. I joined the group and within two months I had found myself part of a group of friends who are awesome, and have made me feel like I belong here.
On the other hand, sometimes the law of attraction has not delivered. This can happen because sometimes things that we think we need are actually not right for us. I wouldn’t, for example, recommend focusing on manifesting a winning lottery ticket. Even though you might think a truckload of money is exactly what you need for a better life, the Universe knows better. (Yes, it worked for Jim Carrey, but his goal was more about career success than the financial payoff.)
I have focused on attracting a wonderful man into my life for about four years now, without success. However I can see now that the timing was wrong  I wasnt ready for a healthy relationship, even though I thought I was. I had so much work to do on myself, in particular, bolstering my woefully low self-esteem (my neediness was hardly an attractive quality). If I’d been in a long-term relationship, I would never have embarked on the journey of personal development that has brought me to where I am now. Not only am I now a more independent, resourceful person who knows that happiness and love are derived from within me rather than in a relationship, I’ve also forged a more fulfilling career in the spiritual realm. I would never have taken this direction I hadn’t delved within to find answers to my own discontentment.
And that’s the thing about the law of attraction – while we do have the power to attract what we want, what we want might not be in our best interests. And we dont have any say in the timing.
This is why Im wary of self-help books and wellness bloggers that promise you can have anything you want if you just think positive. This philosophy can lead to disappointment and disillusionment. (Ive written about the inflated promises dolled out by some sectors of the self-help industry before, read my blog post here.)
Keep believing, people. The law of attraction isn’t a perfect mail order system but it *does* work. (Eventually.)

I’d love to hear how the law of attraction has worked for you. Email me if you’d like to share your story.