You know you know

During my angel card readings today I came across a few people who I could sense had been reincarnated many many times. Old souls. Wise souls. When I picked up on this and discussed it with them, there was an enthusiastic knowingness, as if they’d always suspected as much but needed confirmation from a total stranger, in this case a spiritual reader, to recognise it. They get déjà vu frequently, and get glimpses of the wisdom of the universe, even though they can’t explain why, what it means or what they should do with that information. The reason I’m talking about this now is not to spark a discussion about reincarnation (even though that topic fascinates me and I could talk about it endlessly) but because I find it so intriguing that so often we already have the answers locked up inside but need someone else to identify our own truth before we believe it ourselves.

This is me giving a reading today. #inthezone

This, of course, is one of the many lessons we’re here to learn – how to listen to our intuition and not let our logic-focused brains set us off track. Of course we need that logical side, but sometimes it's trying to steer us down the ‘safe’ path, which won’t help us when we're stuck. Our souls already know the answers, but Fear will always try and talk us out of it. Hopefully the people I met today will keep this in mind (and in heart) as they move forward. It was a timely reminder for me to do the same. 

Do one thing that scares you

Today I'm doing what every Pinterest board ever made urges me to do - something that scares me. I'm holding a market stall offering angel card readings. This is scary because I'm an introvert, so not entirely comfortable being so prominent. The solution to this is to focus on the people coming to me for readings, which is a good reminder that it's not all about me. I'm looking forward to being able to help people - which is, after all, what we're all here to do. I'll check in later and let you know how it goes.

Being single in a world that’s in love with romance

An awful day is approaching and my anxiety levels are rising just thinking about it. February 14. It’s a day you don’t really give a shit about when you’re in a healthy relationship, but when you’re single it feels like the entire planet is flipping the bird at you.

For me, the build-up is always the worst. The day itself is fine. And so is the next day. And the next day. That’s because I’m happy being single. Would I like to be in a relationship? Sure, I love the thrill of a new attraction, and all the wonderful getting-to-know-each-other stuff that follows – but only with the right guy (who will appear in my life when he's supposed to). But for some reason, the lead-up to Valentine’s Day makes me feel really really crappy about my single status.

Our society romanticises (pun intended) coupledom, and long-term relationships are seen as a measure of success. What if you’re not in a relationship – does that make you a failure? Sometimes I feel that way, even though I know it’s not true. I know a lot of people who’ve settled for mediocre or unsatisfying relationships, because they’re too scared or just unwilling to be on their own. I’m proud that I haven’t succumbed to that pressure.

From a spiritual perspective, there's no requirement to have 'another half' - we are all perfectly complete on our own. That said, we all have various soul contracts with various people who will accompany us from one lifetime into the next. That includes family members as well as significant others. Through my spiritual learnings I know that the most important relationship we all have is with ourselves, and that's the primary relationship we're here to develop.

So here's where I come unstuck: with the amount of hype around relationships on Valentine’s Day it’s easy to lose sight of this and feel like the world is participating in a party you didn’t get invited to. Because you weren’t good enough. Because no one liked you enough. All bollocks, I know. But, still.

This year Valentine’s Day will be really cool – it’s a Saturday, and I’m going on a picnic with a bunch of my single friends. We will eat, drink, laugh and celebrate the awesomeness of solid friendships. (I highly recommend this for any Saturday, not just Valentine’s Day.)

This Valentine’s Day, look for me in the park having a laugh with my friends. I’ll be the one shouting ‘Happy VD!’ to smug couples. And giggling inappropriately when they don’t get the joke. 

It must be a sign! (Literally)

Sometimes the Universe is really obscure, sometimes it is blindingly, laughingly obvious. Today I experienced the latter.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my project for the year is to improve my debilitating low self-esteem. I’m only a few weeks in, but already I’m feeling lighter and more powerful. To magnify the effect, I’ve assimilated these two mantras into my morning meditations, and I also utter them at random points during the day when I feel like self-doubt is gathering momentum:

* I have the ability to change

* I have the power to change 

On my lunchtime walk today I was reflecting on a situation I’m in at the moment, and started to feel that doubt was taking over, leading me down a familiar dead-end street – Giving Up Avenue. I interrupted this train of thought and asked the Universe to tell me what to do next. Within five minutes I’d seen a truck boasting the words 'ABLE' barrelling past. I put that down to coincidence (note to self: there is no such thing as coincidence). Then I looked up and saw this street sign: Power Ave. I LOLed.

It doesn’t get much more obvious than that. The Universe was giving me a sign – literally – that I have the power to change this situation.

Wish me luck! Actually don’t – I won’t need it (OK, possibly a little TOO confident now, lol). 

Dear Mercury retrograde. You suck. (un)Kind regards, me.

Mercury, you are killing me right now. Yes, I know you love to screw with transport systems when you go into retrograde (Jan 21 through to Feb 11, and again later this year – boo!), and I know to expect that, but… seriously?! Yesterday I had FOUR buses not show up. They weren’t late, they just didn’t show up. They vanished into thin air, like they were cast in a Harry Potter storyline, despite my online app telling me they would be here in two minutes. And that made my day a giant poopy mess. Also, my vacuum cleaner died a quiet death (RIP), which I’m really pissed about because I’ll have to replace it, and who wants to spend large sums of money on a vacuum cleaner? Sooo boring and adult.

You guys are feeling this too, right? The Mercury retrograde is incredibly frustrating. And besides allowing extra time for travel hiccups – which I clearly failed to do, d’oh! – there is only one thing you can do. Surrender. Stop checking your unhelpful bus timetable obsessively and pull out a magazine to read while you wait. Breathe deeply. Smile at strangers. Listen to Uptown Funk on repeat. (OK, that’s more than one thing... pretty sure my shoddy arithmetic skills are not Mercury’s fault.)

This is an important lesson for me in just about every area of my life, so instead of getting angry at planetary forces beyond my control, I’m choosing to see Mercury as my teacher. It’s not easy. And sure, letting go of my frustration at having to wait half an hour for a bus is not quite the same as letting go of my attachments to the bigger-scale things I could really benefit from letting go of (habitual self-criticism, regrets over failed relationships, ideas about how my future *should* look, just to name a few) but it’s certainly a step in the right direction. It reminds me that while I don’t have the power to change what life throws at me, I always have the power to choose how I respond to it, which is an extremely powerful concept. If nothing else, it reminds me how good it feels to be at peace with the world (even for short bursts of time) – that’s the place where wisdom starts to flow.

There are just over 10 days left of this hot mess, and I’m declaring right now that I’m not going to let it turn ME into a mess. Obviously I’ll be avoiding potential problem areas (hint: do not go signing any contracts or making large financial outlays at this time) but beyond that, just surrendering to whatever happens. And allowing extra time for travel.

Good luck out there everyone!

BTW, for an excellent reference on how the mercury retrograde nightmare affects us (causing communication breakdowns and technology fails), check out this helpful post by sparkly blogger Gala Darling.