One for the sensitive types. How your weakness can be your strength

Man and woman sitting apart on sofa, woman wearing box on head

Confession: I hate parties. I
m awkward when it comes to small talk because Im rubbish at ‘playing the game’, and I find meeting new people terrifying. Christmas parties are a battle of endurance for me, and summer barbecues with people I dont know are acutely uncomfortable. For a long time I labelled this as shyness however Ive realised that, yes, I am slow to relax in other peoples company and dont enjoy talking about myself, but I actually dont fit into the category of ‘shy’. I also attributed this mild social anxiety to being an introvert – which is true, I am – but this doesnt completely explain my level of discomfort in social settings. 
A month ago I read an article in Elephant Journal that made all the pieces fall into place. My preference for short, one-on-one interactions  or none at all  is nothing to do with shyness or introversion, its all about being highly sensitive. Its about the way I respond to social exchanges on an emotional level.
This is what it means to be highly sensitive:
* You need massive amounts of time alone
* You pick up on other peoples moods instantly, and usually absorb them
* You feel overwhelmed by social situations and crowds
* You feel emotions deeply
* You appreciate and respond to art, music and beauty at a very deep level
Thats a tick, tick, tick, tick and a half-tick for me.
The fact that Im highly sensitive means I cant work for long periods in offices that are super bitchy or super negative because that drags down my mood and drains my energy. I cant have a packed social calendar, because I need lots of time in solitude to recharge. I cant watch news footage of tragedies or disasters because I am seized by intense despair. I cant enjoy boxing or sports where violence is encouraged because I find the aggression really confronting. 
Woman in suit of armourIn a society that prizes physical dominance and discourages displays of emotion, sensitivity is regarded as a weakness. I vividly recall being told: "Dont be so sensitive," as an adolescent when I complained about being bullied. (Um, thanks, really helpful. Nothing like a spot of victim shaming to avoid tackling an issue.)
What I understand now is that being sensitive is not a weakness, its a strength. Its what helps me to perceive, via my intuition, when people need help, extra kindness or just space. Its also the thing that allows me to tune into other peoples energy fields to help them identify emotional blocks – hence my affinity with reiki and angel card readings. (It also means I can be prone to taking those energies on board, but I have measures to avoid that.)
Highly sensitive types are the ones who create dazzling works of art, poetry and performance that allow us to see the world in entirely new ways. They are terrible at dating but excellent at long-term relationships. They have a small group of friends who they forge strong connections with. They listen far more than they speak. They are very protective of their personal space and don't react well to being touched by strangers or people they dont know well. 
For me, being sensitive means I need plenty of self-care. Its about lots of sleep, lots of water, lots of exercise, and lots of time on my own. Its also vital to make time to be creative and to be still. It feels good to be at an age where I dont have to make an excuse for choosing, and enjoying, these activities. I know I feel better for them. I also do a shielding ritual as part of my daily morning meditation, to protect myself, my physical space and my energetic space. This means I can face the day knowing that no matter who Im around, Im not going to get dragged down by their mood or their stuff'. (Happy to give tips on this to anyone whod like to know more about how to do this, just drop me an email.)
If this post resonates with you, I hope you can find ways to embrace and nurture your sensitivity too.