My problem with these ‘look at my amazing life’ posts is that
they made me feel crap. Like, crying-into-my-pillow crap. Is that the fault of
the person who had that wonderful trip to Spain/dream promotion/romantic
engagement? No, of course it isn’t. Like I said, I genuinely want my friends
– and everyone, for that matter – to live a life rich with joyous moments. Happiness
isn’t in short supply – we can all have a slice of it. It’s my response that
was the problem.
Comparison. It’s the bane of my existence. As the saying
goes, there will always be someone smarter/richer/prettier than you, so
comparison is futile. Life is not a competition. I know all of this, and I do truly
believe it. And yet...
What my response showed me was that I have some work to do in
deeply accepting myself. There’s a part of me that feels that I’ve failed
because I haven’t had some of these experiences that other people in my age
group have had. Even though I know that that doesn’t matter, that this is how
my life is supposed to be, and that’s more than OK. And even though I know I’m
not lacking anything whatsoever. In spite of all of this knowledge, I still
feel the misery of disappointment and inferiority.
Eckhart Tolle (wise man, that Eckie) says that ‘life will
give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.’
I’m still not 100 per cent sure what my life purpose is, but I know that this lesson
– of accepting myself, of being content with my life, of letting go my need to
compete with peers – is at the heart of my journey towards evolution. I’ll let
you know how that works out for me.
In the meantime, any advice you have on self-acceptance,
overcoming envy and feelings of failure would be gratefully accepted. Thank
you.
