What moving to a new house taught me about letting go

There’s nothing quite like moving house to make you realise you own far, far more possessions than you actually need. I shifted to a new address last week (a revolting process, always) and I was shocked, as I always am, by how much stuff I own… and feel attached to, for reasons I can’t really explain. There were items that are currently useful, items that may be useful in the future and items that are not useful at all but are lovely. As I gathered up and disposed of the items that didn’t fall into any of these categories, I wondered how I can dispose of all the other clutter that’s taking up space in my life – the emotional baggage.

About 10 years ago I went to a Christmas Eve mass in Bondi, which is a suburb of Sydney with a high percentage of travellers, particularly from the UK and Ireland. In his sermon the priest talked about how many backpackers he sees around the neighbourhood carrying their life’s possessions on their shoulders, and he likened this to the emotional baggage so many of us carry around that weighs us down. This is the only sermon I’ve ever heard that I have never forgotten – and since I was forced to attend church services for the first 16 years of my life, I’ve heard a LOT of sermons. He talked about how if we have faith in something, we have everything we need. There’s no cause for carrying around worries. This is the beautiful and alluring promise of spirituality, in all forms: peace. No matter who or what you believe in, if it brings you peace, hold on to it.

When the priest described the burden of emotional baggage in such simple terms, releasing it sounded simple too. But if you’ve read even one post on this blog, you’ll know that my belief in angels and the Universe and goodness and love and human kindness have not shielded me from moments of worry, fear or despair. That’s because I am human. (Just on that note, I would recommend you steer clear of any spiritual guru or blogger who claims they have eliminated these emotions from their lives, and promises that you can too. Utter delusion.) And like every other human I know, I have baggage. And yes, it’s weighing me down. 

Here’s a popular saying that pops up on Instagram from time to time: Life is a delicate balance of holding on and letting go. Like, I suspect, most people, I have a tendency to quit at times when I need to hold on, and to stubbornly clutch onto the destructive old stories and the limiting beliefs that I need to release. As previously mentioned, I am human.

There’s a lot I need to let go of right now. And as it’s the super moon, and there’s an eclipse, and a blood moon, and a bunch of other (apparently) VERY SIGNIFICANT astrological portents I don’t really understand, it seemed like a good time to do a quick stocktake of my emotional baggage. It wasn’t a long list, but some of the items were fairly weighty – and many were coated in layers of dust. These include, but are not limited to, my regret over my mediocre career and my ongoing guilt at living far away from my family. None of what I listed is serving any purpose, except making me feel crappy, which isn’t all that useful. Some of this stuff is old and I’m ready to ditch it; some of it needs further processing first. But what if I could just gently ease my backpack straps off my shoulders, place the burden on the floor and walk away? What would that feel like? What would it be like to be so light?

I don’t think I can ever clear away ALL of the suitcases or ditch my backpack but I think that by having awareness of the areas where I’m weighed down, I can start to unpack them gradually. For example, when I notice I’m beating myself up about my lack of professional success (yet again), I feel better equipped to talk myself out of that negative spiral before it snowballs into full-scale self-sabotage.

I do think that sometimes we can continue unhelpful thought patterns even though we’ve long since outgrown them – because they’re comforting in some way. A bit like how I kept drinking beer for years after I had adopted a gluten-free diet – even though beer is loaded with gluten. I kept drinking it because the habit was familiar. Earlier this year I swapped out beer for red wine and the difference to my stomach has been remarkable... as I had known it would be. So why hadn’t I stopped years before? Sometimes thoughts and habits that are unhelpful, or downright destructive, are comforting because they’re familiar. It’s not until you make a point of clearing them away that you remember what it’s like to feel freer, lighter, better.

What about you. Is there something old and heavy that you’re ready to clear away? 

I’ve got the power – and so do you. Time to stop playing the victim, and use it

If you’re ready to make changes in your life – and since you’re reading this blog, I’m assuming that you are – this is the time to do it. With a full moon tonight in Capricorn – that’s the ultra-ambitious, success-driven sign of the zodiac (shoutout to all the Cappys!) – the energy is right for using your power to create something amazing.

Unfortunately, power has a serious PR problem. We think that it corrupts, dominates and breeds exploitation. In other words, we regard it as a negative entity to be avoided. But in a spiritual sense, power is actually a positive force because it’s what we draw on to make our dreams come true and propel ourselves forward – and for that reason, it’s intrinsically connected to love. It’s only when it’s used out of fear – for example, by world leaders who are so motivated by fear of being inadequate that they fixate on controlling other people – that power gets a bad name.

At many points in my life I have rendered myself powerless. In my early 20s I blamed my flatmates for cooking badly, which gave me an excuse to be overweight. I blamed the economy for my poor cashflow, which gave me an excuse not to manage my funds better. I blamed my industry for being too competitive, which gave me an excuse not to pitch for work I wanted (thereby risking failure). I blamed my city for being too boring, which gave me an excuse not to work harder at overcoming my shyness barrier and extending my social circle (thereby risking rejection). Oh, poor me!

When you’ve cast yourself as the victim, as I had, you are giving away your power. You are blaming other people – your lazy partner, your inept boss, your unforgiving father, whoever it is – for the state of your life. If your problems are someone else’s fault, that (conveniently) means you don’t have to take responsibility for your choices. You have licence to test the patience of your friends by whingeing and complaining all the live long day. Poor you.

It took a very long time for me to accept that nothing was going to change until I did. The point of power was in my decision to adjust the way I had framed these situations in my mind. Even if you can’t change your situation, you can always change the way you think about it. Taking control of your thoughts, and not resenting others for the landscape of your life, is the first step in taking back your power. And that gives rise to action.

If your life isn’t playing out how you’d like it to, ask yourself honestly if you have been blaming someone else for that. Other people may well be involved, complicit and even influential, but ultimately you hold all the cards. You have the power to change the situation and yield a better result – for everyone. To borrow a cliché, the best time to do that is yesterday, and the second best time is today. With 2015 being a ‘number eight year’ (read more here) and the full moon beaming out in Capricorn, this is a – ahem – powerful time to be alive. We have the power to create a shiny new reality for ourselves and others around us. Things that may not have seemed possible in previous years are no longer closed off. Who would have thought the US would finally legalise same-sex marriage?! This proves that wonderful things are possible when you act from a place of love. And despite its image problem, power is all about love. When you truly know how much value you hold, you know that you deserve to have your dreams come true, and you’ll feel inspired to utilise the power available to you to make that happen.  

The onus is on you, right now, to take back your own power and use it to get what you want (what you want, what you really really want). Be bold. Be creative. Be your own hero. The Universe responds to thoughts, prayers and affirmations, but it bends most favourably in your direction when you take action. Go do that.

The planets are throwing you a curveball. Just roll with it

There are a lot of intense energies around right now, and you can blame the moon and planets for that. I have to say, I do find it quite bizarre that I'm writing a blog post about this as it seems like something that few people would be on board with, but every time I mention full moons or planetary events, my blog traffic spikes. So it seems that a lot of you really do notice, and care about, astrological dynamics. 

But perhaps that's not surprising. Even people who are dismissive of spiritual concepts seem to be aware that the full moon has an impact on human behaviour (nope, not talking about werewolves!). 

A policeman I used to know told me that incidences of violence and disorderly behaviour have a massive increase during a full moon – to the point where cops in his station were wary about being rostered on for night shift at full moon. And many emergency room doctors can attest to a similar effect. That’s because the moon is associated with our emotions, and some people don’t process highly intense emotions in healthy or respectful ways.

BTW I'm not an astrologer. Everything I've written here is collected from what I've read lately (I'm fascinated by this stuff). And remember that you can't actually blame the moon for your behaviour – even though we are influenced by different energies, we are all responsible for our own actions. 

The full moon this week (it started on Monday night) is extra intense because it's in the house of Scorpio – that's the sign associated with deep thinking and emotions. If you know a Scorpio well (I'm one!), you'll know what I'm talking about – we're all about delving into what's really going on, and exploring what actually matters. You will never have a conversation about the Kardashians with a Scorpio – shallowness bores us to tears.

So if you're feeling extra emotional this week, and you're being confronted with deep issues you've been burying or simply hadn't been aware of, that's the full moon at play. The good news is, it's shining a light on stuff you need to process and clear. It’d be helpful to take that on board. 

But wait, there's more! We're also in the shadow period of the Mercury retrograde – something that happens three times this year. The retrograde proper starts on May 18 but its effects start to be felt in the two-week lead-up. The planet Mercury is to do with communication and travel, so when it goes into retrograde (until June 11) it can wreak havoc. This is a time when your computer may melt down*, emails go missing in cyberspace, buses and flights will constantly be delayed and you'll get caught in unexpected and inexplicable traffic snarl-ups. Last year during a Mercury retrograde, the whole of Sydney Airport lost power for three hours, for reasons officials could not identify, sending the entire flight schedule into disarray for the day. And in the Mercury retrograde in January this year, a leading telco in Australia randomly changed its entire network into daylight savings time, meaning that people living in states which do not observe daylight savings – hello, Queensland! – got woken up an hour before they should have been, and rocked up to work early (robbed of an hour's sleep –how gutted would you be?!).

Also during Mercury retrograde, your interactions with others may be fraught. You'll find yourself – and them – saying things you don't mean. Misunderstandings will be commonplace, and will cause conflicts. Your thoughts will be muddied and you'll struggle to get your message across. In short, this planet is a bit of a shit-stirrer.

But it has a fun side too – Mercury is also associated with playfulness, so fun activities that have maximum laugh value are highlighted over this period. Channel that inner child – there's a trampoline and a silly movie with your name on it. 

The best way to get through a Mercury retrograde cycle is to be patient. Be forgiving of people around you – especially when it comes to communications. Focus on ways to find calm – meditation, herbal tea, long walks in the park, whatever floats your boat – as this is more important now than ever. 

The planet Mercury up close.

If you still don't believe in this astrological stuff, I get it – it does seem pretty far-fetched. But remember that everything is made of energy, which, by its nature, is subject to ebbs and flows. Emotions themselves are a form of energy. So it makes sense that what happens in the solar system, with its associated powerful forces, could also affect energy flow within and around us. The moon controls the tides, so it stands to reason that the moon could also affect the flow of emotions within our body – especially when you consider that our bodies are about 75 per cent water, an element which is associated with emotions (that's why Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces, the water signs, are the emotion-driven signs of the Zodiac). Oh, I've lost you, haven't I? Too airy-fairy? Yeah, I know, it's pretty out there. But do try to keep an open mind. 

* Pro tip: if you haven't done a computer back-up recently, do it now.