The story so far: how One Grounded Angel was born

One of the questions I get asked from time to time is: “When did you know you could communicate with angels?” I wish I had a dramatic story to share, but unfortunately I don’t. I haven’t had a near-death experience. There was no lightning-bolt moment where I suddenly knew I had the ability to tap into the angelic realm. Mine was a very slow spiritual awakening, and it took years before I trusted that what I was sensing was legit. And it’s only been very recently that I’ve developed the confidence to pass those messages on to others. Here’s how it played out…

By the way, this story is kinda long, so you might wanna put the kettle on and make yourself comfortable. Take off your pants if you want to. (Actually on second thoughts, please don’t do that. I feel weird about it.)

When I was 25 and working for a major national magazine in Sydney, the editor introduced an angel card column, where readers could send in questions which would be answered by Doreen Virtue, who at the time was regarded as an expert on angel communication. Although I was vaguely aware of the concept of angels before this, they seemed like mythical figures to me. But my curiosity was piqued and I sent in a question of my own, which Doreen answered with startling accuracy. 

(Above: Me at Newgrange tomb, Ireland 2007)

Two years later I was travelling overseas when I noticed a deck of Doreen’s angel cards in the window of a Dublin bookstore. On a whim, I forked out about 15 euros and took the cards home to Auckland with me. I started drawing a card whenever I encountered a problem and even though they didn’t always help me resolve things (in hindsight, because I wasn’t listening properly) they were always reassuring.

In late 2013, living back in Auckland, I was going through a low period in my life, feeling stuck, when I saw a Facebook post from Doreen saying she would be leading an Angel Intuitive workshop on the Sunshine Coast in Australia. I was looking for something to bring me hope, and I needed to get out of town. I booked flights and told my friends I was on a “meditation retreat” as I didn’t want them to think I was a weirdo. (I’m pretty sure they’re well aware, haha.)

Doreen’s workshop was awesome and it really taught me how to identify and trust the messages of my intuition. I met lots of normal people who communicate with angels. Yes there was a significant portion of the stereotypical New Age types, but connecting with people who dressed and spoke just like me made me realise talking to angels was for everyone, not something reserved for a certain type of person.

It was during this workshop that someone gave me a reading telling me I needed to move back to Sydney. I was annoyed. I did not want to move back to a city I thought I was done with. But, as often happens in angel card readings, it hit a nerve. I realised I was miserable in Auckland. Plus, I’d known for some time I’d needed to move on, because I’d been getting the ‘move’ card in my own readings for the previous few weeks but hadn’t really wanted to face it.

(Above: Leaving Auckland)

I sat on the decision for several weeks. I knew the move was right for me but I was scared of starting over – particularly since I thought there was nothing ‘wrong’ with my life. (This was a lie I had been telling myself because I didn’t want to overhaul my life – more about that in this post.) It was an agonising decision. Wanting a neutral perspective I went to an angel card reader in Auckland, the wonderful Melissa Bult-Burns. Even though I draw daily cards for myself, I always book Melissa to do readings on the bigger-perspective stuff – it helps to hear the messages relayed by someone who can be objective. She confirmed that if I moved to Sydney my life would transform dramatically. Incidentally, I still have a picture of the cards she drew for me, and everything she pointed out has come to pass. 

After moving to Sydney in April 2014 I continued doing my own angel card readings, and my intuition was starting to nudge me towards the idea that working with the angels would be part of my life purpose. To that end, in November I flew down to Melbourne for another workshop, at which I became a Certified Angel Card Reader. Still I had no plans to read cards for people professionally. At this workshop a card reading indicated I had strong energy healing abilities and would do well to train in something like reiki. The card reader showed me, in a really simple way, how to run energy, and I was amazed by how much heat was coming through my hands. This was encouraging.

(Are you still with me? Kudos if you’ve managed to read this far. We’re almost there!)

At this workshop I also got messages from two separate people that I needed to be using my writing talents to help people. The angels were indicating that my struggle to find meaning in life would resonate with others, and that I needed to chronicle that in a written form. Sceptical but willing to take a chance, I came home and started this blog. I did not want to give the blog my own name because no one can spell it (lol). So I chose the name One Grounded Angel to separate myself from the other spiritual noise out there. I wanted to talk about spirituality in realistic terms, with a good dash of humour. My mission was to empower people – without judgment, preaching or rules – to connect with their hearts and souls in whatever way feels right for them. I’m not saying I’m nailing this every time but I’d like to think I’m at least on the right track. I also didn’t want to present myself as any type of authority, so I went with the prefix ‘One’ rather than ‘The Grounded Angel’.

I told no one about my blog at first – I was too worried about being judged. My online following happened organically, and I have no idea how people found me in those early days. As always, the angels were right – my themes seem to have resonated with some of you. It’s certainly helped me, in just about every area of my life.

As with all stories, the best is yet to come. It’s the same for you, by the way – none of us knows how our stories will play out. The most important thing is that if you want a bigger, more meaningful life, you have to start a new narrative. None of this was planned, but all of this is perfect.

Don’t focus on the ending – just start. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey  xx

Staying connected to the Universe, but still being grounded: all about the crown chakra

This is the final post in my series about each of the seven chakras, or energy centres, of the body. I’ve posted links to the previous six chakras at the bottom of this article if you want a refresher, but first let’s delve into the crown chakra, which is all about your connection with the Universe.

The crown chakra is located at the top of your head (well, obviously!) and is associated with your thought patterns, how well you sleep (or not) and how connected you are with your spirituality.

The best way I can explain the crown chakra is that when it is in balance, life just flows. You have an innate wisdom about how events are unfolding and about the direction in which you should move. The third-eye chakra is about having clear intuition, but the crown chakra is more intensive – it’s concerned with whether you trust the Universe enough to follow those messages (or whether your brain gets in the way). But even though this is about the ethereal stuff, a balanced crown chakra also means you are grounded (i.e. anchored to the real world) – because if you’re not grounded, you can’t integrate messages from your intuition.

(Image: The crown chakra symbol)

One type of people likely to have a crown chakra block are, ironically, those working in the spiritual community - think about the spiritual gurus online who spout a whole lot of convoluted wisdom which has no real-world basis.

Remember how I talked about how each chakra has an adversary? The heart chakra, which is all about love, has ‘grief’ as its adversary. And the sacral chakra, which is about pleasure, has ‘guilt’ as its primary challenger. In the crown chakra that adversary is ‘attachment’. That’s attachment to anything from possessions to an unhealthy relationship to a need to be right all the time. Because when we are attached to any object, or any set outcome, we’re not open to what the Universe is guiding us towards (that which is for our highest good).

My crown chakra is what I use to channel energy from the Universe through when I’m giving someone a reiki treatment. It’s also my pathway for receiving messages from the angels. But you don’t have to be working in the healing field to benefit from having a balanced crown chakra. 

Melatonin, the hormone that regulates healthy sleep patterns, is associated with the crown chakra. When there’s a block in the crown chakra, that interferes with melatonin production, which in turn adversely affects our sleep quantity and quality. It’s no coincidence that this year, the year that I started reiki and giving angel card readings professionally, my incidences of insomnia (which I have suffered from all my life) have decreased significantly. 

When the energy in our crown chakra is deficient we might display these characteristics:

* Very rigid belief systems (closed-mindedness regarding religion and spirituality)

* Dependence on material items to make us feel good

* A tendency to daydream and be away with the fairies

(Image: The seven chakras in the body.)

When the energy in the crown chakra is excessive, we might be:

* Prone to overanalysing

* Likely to over-intellectualise situations

* Constantly struggling to switch off our brains

* Prone to insomnia

To balance out the energy in this chakra, meditation is the best course of action. In yoga, the headstand is effective (for obvious reasons). Also, taking a break from electronics can be hugely beneficial because it forces you to come back to the real world. Being around nature is also a great way to ground yourself.

***

If you want to know more about the other chakras, here are the links:

The base chakra – associated with our material needs (i.e. money) and security

The sacral chakra – our emotional health, our creativity and sexual energy

The solar plexus chakra – associated with empowerment and control

The heart chakra – the place from which we give and receive love (to others, and to ourselves)

The throat chakra – associated with communication and self-expression

The third-eye chakra – all about our intuition and perception of the world

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

Because you're worth it. Yes, you absolutely are!

For the past three weeks consistently, an angel card has come up every week urging us to reward ourselves. Generally the angels will repeat a message because we are not taking it on board. Since this pattern has emerged, I thought I’d explore some of the reasons we sometimes struggle to treat ourselves – and why we absolutely need to.

What I’ve noticed is that when a message about doing something nice for themselves comes up, some people will cite feeble excuses why they “can’t”, and generally these involve a perceived lack of time or money. I’m sorry to sound a bit like your mum, but if you don’t have time to look after yourself, you are doing something very wrong. And the excuse about money doesn’t hold much currency either, because self-love does not need to cost money. But both of these are beside the point. 

What’s really going on under the surface is that many of us don’t understand that we deserve to be looked after – and that that it is our job to bestow that care on ourselves.

To some people, the idea of making time for a pedicure, a yoga class or a nap on a Saturday afternoon seems like a treat that they aren’t entitled to unless they’ve done something special to earn it. And sometimes even when people do understand that it is important to treat themselves, they decide they’ll do that later when they’re not busy… you know… whenever that is...

Guys, we all need to do a better job of treating ourselves to rewards, and this is why. You are a child of the Universe, and therefore entitled to receive love and care. You do not have to earn that love and care, it is your birthright – and you are absolutely worthy of it. In fact, you are so valuable that the Universe has assigned two guardian angels to look after you and guide you – and there’s nothing you could do to get them to leave you. Your chief responsibility in this lifetime is to give love to others – but you can’t give away something that you don’t have yourself. If you are not willing to show love and care to yourself, how can you expect to receive it from anyone else? And actually, if you are not willing to show love and care to yourself, maybe you need to ask yourself some urgent questions about why that is (maybe there are some underlying issues related to self-esteem that you need to address). 

If you take only one thing from this post, let it be this: you do not have to change anything to be worthy of love and care. This does not mean that you don’t have more work to do on yourself and on your relationships (we all do) – but it also doesn’t mean you are not worthy of treats and nourishment right this minute. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now, and you’re absolutely deserving of love. It starts with you. 

Making time* for a 45-minute massage may not change your life but it’s a very good place to start.

*Notice I said ‘making time’ not ‘finding time’. No one has an abundance of time – it’s up to you to prioritise the hours that you do have.  

Be here now. In this moment. It's the only one you have

We wish it were Friday already. We wish it were summer still. We wish it were 5pm. We wish it were holidays. We wish it were lunchtime. We wish it were Friday again. We wish we were in Fiji. We wish we were in a house of our own. We wish we were older. We wish we were young again. We wish we were married. We wish we were single. We wish our kids were at school. We wish our kids were babies again. We wish it were Friday again.

We always wish we were in some place, or some moment, other than where we are.

Why do we do that? 

In wishing we were elsewhere, we’re saying to the Universe that what we have is not good enough. But actually, what we have and what we are right now is EVERYTHING. 
It's OK to want more and strive for more - and you absolutely should - but the challenge is to not get so heavily invested in where you want to go that you forget to celebrate  today.

I love this quote from Buddha: "There are only two days of the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow. So today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live." 

The struggle to be fully present in the moment, and really making the most of what I have, is a constant theme in my life. I have a very busy mind that’s often consumed with worrying about the future or replaying the past. Neither of these is conducive to being right here, right now. The result is that I am often so immersed in the coming attractions that I miss the full experience of the feature. 

Image by @stealtimeback via Instagram

When I was travelling recently, I realised how much calmer I felt, because I was completely immersed in what was right in front of my eyes. This ability to tune out of the pointless (and often damaging) chatter in my mind and into everything around me is something I want to strengthen in my everyday life. When I stop to appreciate the awesomnity* of my life, it’s like putting a pin in the balloon of my worries, and simultaneously lighting a rocket under my life-satisfaction levels. That’s because I am acutely aware that I have everything I need right now, and that every element of my life is perfectly imperfect. This moment is enough. 

Recently I saw a very moving TED talk by poet Robin Morgan and it really highlighted the beautiful experience of being fully present. Robin, who has Parkinson’s disease, has written some incredibly powerful poems about the process of watching her body slow down. One of the pieces that touched me most is called This Dark Hour. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

***

This Dark Hour

Late summer, 4 A.M. The rain slows to a stop, dripping still from the broad leaves of blue hostas unseen in the garden’s dark. Barefoot, careful on the slick slate slabs, I need no light, I know the way, stoop by the mint bed, scoop a fistful of moist earth, then grope for a chair, spread a shawl, and sit, breathing in the wet green August air.

This is the small, still hour before the newspaper lands in the vestibule like a grenade, the phone shrills, the computer screen blinks and glares awake.

There is this hour: poem in my head, soil in my hand: unnamable fullness. This hour, when blood of my blood bone of bone, child grown to manhood now – stranger, intimate, not distant but apart – lies safe, off dreaming melodies while love sleeps, safe, in his arms.

To have come to this place, lived to this moment: immeasurable lightness. The density of black starts to blur umber. Tentative, a cardinal’s coloratura, then the mourning dove’s elegy. Sable glimmers toward grey; objects emerge, trailing shadows; night ages toward day. The city stirs.

There will be other dawns, nights, gaudy noons. Likely, I’ll lose my way. There will be stumbling, falling, cursing the dark. Whatever comes, there was this hour when nothing mattered, all was unbearably dear.

And when I’m done with daylights, should those who loved me grieve too long a while, let them remember that I had this hour – this dark, perfect hour – and smile.

***

*This is a real word. Don’t you dare google it.

How do you get back up when life kicks you down? Start with your words

It’s hard to pick just one standout quote from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, an exquisite book I have come back to again and again throughout my adult life, but this one would certainly be among my favourites: “The secret to life is to fall down seven times and get up eight times.”

In less poetic terms: “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” (Thanks for that, Chumbawamba.*)

Picking yourself up again after failure, humiliation and heartbreak is achingly difficult, but very necessary if you want to move forward in your life. What Paulo Coelho is describing so lyrically is resilience.

So that’s the ‘why’; this is the ‘how’. The words you use are extremely powerful when it comes to getting back up when you are down. I know this because science.

There’s a well-known study in which Japanese researcher Dr Masaru Emoto took two identical jars of cooked rice and wrote “thank you” on one, and on the other “you fool”. He had school children say the labels out loud to the jars every day as they walked past. After 30 days the jar that had received positive affirmation was healthy while the one that was abused had become mouldy and rotten. The conclusion: words have the power to affect us on a cellular level, so it’s important to choose positive ones. In the interests of balance, I should probably point out here that the scientific community have been fairly critical of Dr Emoto’s research techniques. Still, the finding is an intriguing one.

Improving my self-esteem has been a real focus for me this year, but what I’m realising lately is that it’s actually self-compassion which is more beneficial to my confidence levels and life successes than self-esteem. And just like Dr Emoto I’m fascinated by the power of words – specifically, how the language I use in speaking to myself (both internally and externally) could play a key role in making me a better me.  

The difference between self-esteem and self-compassion, explains respected US self-compassion researcher Dr Kristin Neff, is that the former often involves us comparing ourselves to other people. Which no one does, obviously… except me and, you know, every woman ever. (And potentially a lot of men too.)

Comparison might briefly boost your self-esteem if you conclude that you’re better than other people in some way... but when you feel like everyone else is doing life better than you, your self-esteem is going to suffer – badly. (Guilty as charged.) Self-compassion, on the other hand, doesn’t hinge on you feeling special or different – all it depends on is you treating yourself like a human being who deserves love and care.

Here’s what happens: when you criticise yourself, cortisol (the stress hormone) is released in your body. The resulting stress lowers your mood and motivation. So basically, criticism is being absorbed by your cells**. Yikes! But if, instead of criticising yourself, you can pick yourself up in times of darkness and reassure yourself that the failure you’ve suffered doesn’t diminish your value as a human being, you’ll be better able to get back up and try again, says Dr Neff.

In other (my own), words, kicking your own arse only works if you do it with kindness.

Perhaps this could go some way to explaining why so many women struggle to lose weight in the long term. If you slip up with your exercise and diet plan, then start beating yourself up and call yourself fat, you’re unlikely to get back on track with your weight-loss journey the next day.

I don’t know what you guys take from these findings, but for me, it’s made being nice to myself a far greater priority. It’s looking very much to me like being my own best friend is the secret to getting back up again when life kicks me down. This is a friendship worth making time for.

*Here’s a Chumbawamba throwback, because I know you want it. (Let’s just overlook the fact that the song’s about drinking, ’kay?)

**Did you know we have more than 50 billion cells in our body? Whoa! I learned this at a recent seminar by wellness guru Dr Libby Weaver.