HOPE HOTEL

The internet can be full of nastiness and sadness – this is where you go to escape. Check into Hope Hotel, a series of uplifting stories.

I created this section on my blog because I think there’s a constant need to be reminded that there is so much in this world that's good and true and beautiful. And all of that can be boiled down to one word: hope – my favourite word in the entire English language.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmond Tutu

Room 6
This physics teacher is inspiring for the way he gives his students hope and encouragement. 

But what makes him truly remarkable is the way he integrates lessons on the power of love into his classes. He does that by drawing on his personal experience as dad to a special needs son. 

This video is 12 minutes long, but I promise you it’s worth every second. 

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=3723

Room 5

If this video of a turtle thanking a diver for freeing it from a net doesn’t give you warm fuzzies, I don’t know what will.

Incredibly beautiful.

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/sea-turtle-thanks-divers-for-rescuing-him-video/

Room 4

An American boy with autism really wanted to go to the prom - so his mum threw a ball for special needs kids, so he wouldn't miss out on this rite of passage. She expected a small turnout - 180 kids showed up. This story is just beautiful.

http://www.today.com/parents/special-needs-proms-offers-acceptance-safety-teens-t18311

Room 3

Llamas are so rad. In the US, these gentle animals are bringing joy to hospitals and rest homes. Heart-eyes emoji, guys!

http://www.today.com/pets/therapy-llamas-special-gift-making-people-smile-1C9311715

Room 2

Two wonderful charities in the US - Random Acts of Flowers, and The Bloom Project - are recycling flowers from events and stores to create beautiful arrangements that they deliver to hospices. All the feels.

http://randomactsofflowers.org/

Room 1

In Philadelphia, Rosa’s Fresh Pizza allows customers to pre-purchase a slice of pizza for a homeless person for just $1. The result: more than 10,000 slices for homeless people.

http://www.aleteia.org/en/lifestyle/article/video-homeless-find-slices-and-dignity-at-a-philadelphia-pizza-shop-5772099700391936

We have insurance for fire and theft, but how do we insure against emotional crises?

I am insured for all sorts of disastrous events that are highly unlikely to happen – touch wood! – but no one is offering me insurance against the sorts of things that are actually likely to derail me throughout my life. There’s a good reason for that – any company offering insurance against heartbreak, friendship breakdowns, career crises and cripplingly low mood would go bankrupt. But as I went through the process of assessing my insurance arrangements recently, I started thinking about whether I’m doing enough to insure myself against the highly damaging events that we’re all subject to, at one point or another. A sort of emotional insurance, I guess. Obviously nothing can prevent tough times, but there are lots of ways we can minimise the damage, and bounce back more quickly.

Here are a few of the things I came up with. Some of these I am already doing, others I need to make a better effort at.

EXERCISING SELF-CARE

For some reason, we tend to be great at looking after other people and really crap at looking after ourselves – women, especially. I’m certainly not going to hold myself up as a model of good behaviour. I know how important it is to eat well, drink plenty of water and get enough exercise and sleep, and although I fall down in one or more of these areas at times, I think I’m doing a pretty good job overall. I don’t practise self-care out of a sense of obligation – unlike the types of people who make a show of eating a salad 'to be good', as if trying to win brownie points with their body – I do it because I know how much better I feel when my body is getting what it needs. If I feel like a chocolate bar I’m going to eat a chocolate bar, and not feel guilty about it – self-care is not a slavish devotion to healthy living. 

SETTING GOALS

Choosing something to aim for – running a marathon, setting a savings goal, shooting for a work promotion – does a lot to enhance your emotional health. Firstly, it lifts you out of a sense of feeling stuck and dissatisfied with your life. Secondly, backing yourself to strive for something reinforces your sense of self-worth. And finally, the sense of satisfaction from achieving a goal further boosts your self-esteem. Having healthy self-esteem is a big, big deal – it means you’re better able to weather difficult times and more likely to form healthy, nourishing relationships. 

COMMITTING TO DAILY MEDITATION

Look, I know I talk about meditation a lot, but honestly, it is the best tool I have in my arsenal for staying calm and focused. That doesn’t mean I don’t lose my shit sometimes, but it does mean my emotional baseline is higher – I can return to a calm centre more easily, and from there my intuition is more accessible. Deepak Chopra says that meditation isn’t about making your mind be quiet, it’s about tapping into the quiet that is already within you. I love that.

CONNECTING

This is a big one for me, because I’m introverted and have a tendency to isolate myself. For the most part that is not a problem, however, if I become totally reclusive that’s unhealthy. Why? Because it’s our relationships to others that give our lives meaning. Spending time with people we love is consistently rated as one of life’s most enriching experiences. And no, connecting on social media doesn’t count.

Connecting to your community, too, is hugely beneficial for your emotional health, through volunteering, joining groups and attending local events. This is an important way to protect yourself against feeling isolated and lonely.

PRACTISING GRATITUDE

Another thing I bang on about – for good reason. Across the board in positive psychology research, gratitude is consistently associated with happiness. Reflecting on what’s great in your life, instead of what you perceive to be wrong, in a sincere way – not a vapid "beyond blessed" way, a la celebs on Instagram – will always bring you back to a state of contentment. If you’re aware of how wonderful your life truly is, you’ll treat yourself better, will make better choices and you’ll commit to overcoming obstacles with a greater sense of resolve. I have no research to prove this, I just know that this is true. Kinda makes sense, if you think about it. 

The best part: there are no pricey premiums on this insurance policy, and the payoff is readily accessible.

Ever had a bullying boss? Chances are, they had solar plexus chakra stuff going on

You know how people talk about having ‘fire in the belly’? That’s an indirect reference to the solar-plexus chakra, which is the energy centre concerned with personal power and control. This is an energy centre I’ve had constant blocks so I’m very familiar with it.

Symbolised by the element of fire, the solar plexus is the third chakra, sitting above the base and the sacral chakras. Located in the middle of your back and belly (just above the navel), it’s all about asserting your power without dominating other people, having will power and being comfortable with your place in the world.

People with blocks in the solar-plexus chakra might be doormats, or at the other end of the scale they could be bullies. They could be low in self-esteem or they could be workaholics.

If your energy in this chakra is balanced, you’ll be confident, flexible, self-disciplined, able to take responsibility for your actions and will have a good appreciation of your personal power (i.e. you don’t need to exert power over others to feel important). You’re just as happy to lead as to be led. You’ll also be warm and playful, because sense of humour is strongly connected to this energy centre (hence the saying ‘belly laughs’).

Even though chakras deal with esoteric energy, your physical energy is also at play in this chakra. If this chakra is balanced, you use your energy wisely – you don’t overextend yourself for long periods, and you don’t waste it on people who drain you.

While the base chakra was about fear and the sacral chakra was about guilt, the solar plexus’ enemy is shame.

(Image: the solar -plexus chakra symbol)

Essentially this chakra about owning your identity and being at peace with where you’re at in life – and it makes sense that that’s lacking in people who are bullies, workaholics or constantly angry.

People who are deficient in energy in the solar plexus chakra might display these characteristics:

· Low or no self-esteem

· Share no opinions, ever

· Avoid conflict at all costs

· Say yes to everything asked of them (hello, doormat!)

· Rely on other people’s validation to feel like they matter

· Passive approach to life (letting opportunities pass them by)

· Victim mentality

· Constant worry about what other people think of them

People with excessive energy in this chakra might have some of these things going on:

· Arrogance

· Constant need to have things their way (in the extreme: bullying)

· A need to be right and to have the last word

· Always having something to prove (typical of workaholics)

· Aggressive and prone to outbursts of anger

· Domineering and controlling

· Always criticising other people and very judgmental

· Perfectionism

· Always stressed out

Balancing this chakra comes back to instilling a healthy sense of self-esteem. If there’s something deep that’s proving an obstacle to healthy self-worth, seeking professional counsel could be helpful. Setting a goal and working towards it can help, as that requires you to back yourself and see yourself as worthy of success. If outbursts of anger are an issue for you, addressing the underlying issues could also be beneficial. Anger is a secondary emotion – it’s always masking a deeper problem, usually a fear of some sort. And of course, reiki is a brilliant way to clear blocks in any chakra.

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.  

This is what happens when you don't listen to your body

Are you listening to your body when it tells you what it needs? Because if you’re not, it will find a way to reach you – and you probably won’t like it when it does.

Here’s what recently happened to my friend. She does very long hours, often long into the night, and admits she doesn’t really understand the meaning of the word ‘rest’. For months her body had been giving her cues that her stress levels were out of control, but she kept on going. So her body found a way to reach her that she could not ignore. 

Last week the poor thing fell over in the most ridiculously freak-accident way – and got a concussion. She went to work the next day – but felt so dizzy she had to go home. The next day she could barely get out of bed. The following day she went to work and had to come home because her head was throbbing. On the weekend she went to brunch with a friend and had to get her friend to drive her car home as she was too exhausted. Having had a concussion myself, I know how frustrating this can be – and that it takes a really long time to get back to normal functioning.

Look, accidents happen – and I wouldn’t recommend going looking for a reason when they do. But in this case I can’t help but wonder if her body and the Universe have conspired to get her to give it what she so desperately needs – rest, and a lot of it. 

What I’m getting at here is there’s only so long you can go on running yourself ragged. Your body cannot sustain an exhaustive pace forever, so unless you give it regular time-outs, it will short out in some way. In the modern age where busyness is a religion, we like to think we can do so much more than what we have physical capacity for – our brains are writing out cheques that our bodies can’t cash, I guess you could say. This is why people get sick as soon as they go on holiday. This is also why people get colds and coughs that linger for weeks at a time, then return a month later – because they didn’t stop and let the illness take its course, allowing their immunity to build back up. Instead they took Codral and kept turning up to work.

Maybe my friend’s accident is purely bad luck, but I don’t really believe in luck and the angels have taught me there’s no such thing as coincidence. But regardless of the cause, my friend is benefiting hugely from this enforced period of rest, as frustrating as it is.

When your body tells you to stop, it’s a good idea to listen – before it *makes* you listen.

Emotions, taking us over. How emotions, creativity and sexual energy affect your wellbeing

Following last week’s post about the base chakra, I’m delving into the sacral chakra. This is the energy centre that angel card creator Doreen Virtue calls the "sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll chakra". Oh boy, this is going to get interesting...

Located just below your navel, the sacral chakra is the energy centre in your body concerned with pleasure, creativity, sexual expression and emotions. All the good stuff, in other words!

An imbalance in this chakra shows up for a lot of people, because it governs how you connect with others – which is a pretty fundamental aspect of the human experience. People with poor energy flow in the sacral chakra might be difficult to get close to – or at the other end of the scale, they could be needy and clingy in their relationships. In extreme situations they might battle addictions (and not just to drugs or alcohol; this could include addictions to food, sex , shopping or drama!).*

Emotional balance is a major component of this chakra. Remember that emotions are energy in motion (hence: e-motion), so the way they flow is significant. If emotions fester and stagnate that can result in an imbalance in your sacral chakra. The way to avoid that stagnancy? Learning how to let go... no biggie, then!

Having emotional balance means you don’t hold back with your emotions – which would make you cool and detached – but you’re not overruled by your emotions either. So you can be angry and express that, but you don’t project it onto others. Here’s what an emotional overreaction looks like: if you give someone at work a task to complete, instead of simply telling you that they’re too busy right now but they’ll deal with it tomorrow, they fly off the handle and, in a raised voice, start ranting about how busy they are and no one understands and everyone’s out to get them and and and... (yeah, you know the type).

(Image: the sacral chakra symbol)

While the base chakra’s biggest challenger is fear, the sacral chakra’s adversary is guilt. This shows up in people feeling saddled by obligations, because guilt is stopping them from setting healthy boundaries. Particularly highlighted is guilt around sexuality. For example, at a subconscious level there may be guilt about violating family or societal expectations, such as ‘living in sin’ (Catholic guilt, anyone?!). Even though you may be content with your choices, you may have an irrational guilt playing out in the background around operating outside family norms – particularly for women, who are still expected to be 'good girls'. Sounds weird, but sometimes our desire to conform and our desire to meet our own needs can cause internal conflict that we’re not even aware of.

Other guilt stuff that can result in a block with this chakra – people who’ve cheated on someone or deceived a partner in some way (perhaps by pretending you were still happy in a relationship but you really wanted to leave). 

Sadly, because this chakra concerns sexuality, it is commonly out of balance in people who have been the victims of inappropriate sexual behaviour.

People who have a deficient energy flow in the sacral chakra might have some of these characteristics:

* emotionally distant, and very hard to form close connections with (they put up barriers)

* lack of passion in their lives (no hobbies, no creative expression) 

* martyr mentality (this is all about feeling shackled by perceived obligations)

* dislike of being touched (related: low libido)

* tendency to destroy anything that offers them pleasure (i.e. relationships, household stability)

People who have an excessive energy flow in the sacral chakra might demonstrate some of these qualities (I have worked with a lot of people who fit into this category):

* addictions (this includes people who are addicted to creating drama)

* hedonism

* tendency to blame others for their problems

* unable to be alone (always jumping from one relationship to the next)

* dependent on others (needy)

* mood swings

* tendency to respond with an excess of emotion 

By the way, you can be BOTH excessive and deficient at the same time (weird, I know).

Some ideas to rebalance the sacral chakra:

· Movement and flow are a major focus of this chakra, so exercise is important – particularly in a form that brings you pleasure (surfing, dancing, cycling etc).

· Yoga is recommended (because it includes so many hip openers).

· This chakra’s element is water, so make sure you drink lots of water and spend time around water (ocean, lakes etc) if you’re struggling with emotions.  

· Creative expression will help a lot, so get going on any creative project that calls to you.

· Letting go is important, through whatever means you find helpful – counselling, NLP, affirmations around releasing old hurts etc.

Phew – so that’s the sacral chakra.

If you’d like to work with me to heal any of the issues in this article, you can book energy healing sessions here. More information about how I work is available here.